We’ve all heard people be critical of themselves because they think they should be more outgoing or more organized, or one of many other traits they admire in others.
I hear comments like this frequently during team and individual development sessions that I lead with business leaders. We like to call this desire to be like others “style envy.”
It’s possible to overcome your style in the short term, but over the long term, it’s natural that you revert back to being yourself, or back to your natural behavioral (DISC) style.
After all, science proves to us that your behavioral style is developed and set by the time you are 7 years old!
Because of that scientific fact, attempting to change your behavioral style is a waste of your time and energy. Don’t waste time with style envy, but embrace who you are! Focus on how you can use your natural behavioral style to live a rich, fulfilling life.
Here are three steps to help you move past style envy and enjoy life to its fullest by embracing your own behavioral style:
You must first understand your behavioral style before you can own it and leverage it. It’s important to know your natural behavioral style is created by factors you don’t control, such as genetics, your birth order and your parents’ nurturing style.
Understanding your style in behavioral science terms often leads to breakthroughs. I get to see this happen often in development sessions. The person’s energy level moves to a new level once someone understands better himself or herself.
They can now clearly see their path to greater success in both personally and professionally. The sooner you understand your behavioral style, the more success you will have throughout your life.
Now that you understand your style, you must own it! Owning your natural behavioral style is about accepting who you are — your strengths and weaknesses. It’s not someone’s opinion; it’s science.
Transparency is one of the greatest benefits of owning your style. I have found that transparency is a common quality of the most effective leaders with whom I have worked. Their transparency leads to a more transparent, coachable and high performance team.
Once you understand and own your natural behavioral style, you are ready to leverage it. Techniques to leverage your style include wrapping your natural style around one of your passions in life; to love what you do and be the best at it.
You can also leverage your style by creating a development plan that focuses on improving both your hard and soft skills.
Once you understand your own behavioral style, you can build a team that brings strengths to the table that you don’t have, which will dramatically improve the effectiveness of your team. People love to work with a leader who understands and appreciates where each team member brings the greatest value to the team.
I can tell you from personal experience that the first day of the rest of my life was when I understood my natural behavioral style.
That was over 10 years ago now, but understanding and owning my behavioral style changed every relationship in my life. I have strategy and talent plans in place to leverage my natural behavioral style in my businesses and life.
An irony in life is that, although we did not create or decide our behavioral style, we must own it. Think about your behavioral style. It’s what makes you special and unique.
Remember to understand it, own it and then leverage it. It’s essential to living the most fulfilling life, both at work and in your personal life.