If you have employees in conflict with one another, they’re in good company: Harvard Business Review found that “on average, each employee spends 2.1 hours every week—approximately one day a month—dealing with conflict in some way (being involved in a disagreement, managing a conflict between co-workers, etc).”
That being said, conflict doesn’t have to be a negative thing. “Professional conflict is a part of work,” said Ryan Lisk of RealTime Coaching. “If you don’t have any professional conflict, you’re not making enough things happen.”
The key is finding a way to make conflict productive. If you want to know how to help two employees get along, follow these tips to defuse conflict and move forward with a more confident and cohesive team.
Identify the Problem
The first step is to fully identify the issue at hand. Conflict may manifest as a tense atmosphere or disagreement between two of your direct reports. No matter how you find out about two employees not getting along, it’s your job to address the issue and find a way forward.
Start by talking to the employees experiencing conflict separately. Practice active listening, giving each of them time and space to unpack their issues. If one individual is unwilling to express their feelings, focus on facts. Did they find an issue in their coworker’s work? Did the coworker speak to them disrespectfully?
Conversely, if one employee is focusing on their emotions more than the facts needed to move forward, use the same tactic. After finding out how they feel, ask questions to discover what prompted the issue at hand. Emotion is a part of any conflict, but it can’t primarily guide the resolution process.
Increase Understanding and Awareness
Digging deeper into the issue at hand will increase the understanding of everyone involved, both as individuals and as a pair.
“I make sure to find out what percentage of the conflict is personality-based,” shared Lisk. “This is a question for all the participants to answer. Be prepared to invest some time to review the personality styles.”
This is where using the right tool becomes very important. An assessment that uses multiple sciences to reveal insights about the employees will be key in increasing their understanding of each other and themselves. An assessment can help illuminate how behavioral styles, motivations, and levels of emotional intelligence are impacting the conflict.
“I would ask that the team members suspend judgment for a moment and come with curiosity,” said Chris Young of The Rainmaker Group. “I would have each complete their assessments and then debrief both together. There are likely differences that may be explained simply by differences in communication styles.”
Clarify Misunderstandings
Armed with new understanding and data you can reference, it’s time to fully address the issues at hand. Talk with both employees and address any misunderstandings. Give each person the opportunity to clarify their intentions and actions, and model active listening throughout.
Establishing what has occurred as a group and reaching a consensus together will create a baseline to move forward. This clarity will also make sure both parties feel heard and understood.
During this clarification process, return to the data; the results from their assessments can guide the way forward.
For example, if the conflict arose over completion of a project, you can look at both employees’ motivations with The 12 Driving Forces assessment. If they have different motivations, they may approach work and tasks in conflicting ways. Reframing these differences as an advantage that covers each other’s weaker spots can help build trust and enthusiasm.
Employees will appreciate the mediation: cultivating a positive and inclusive team culture is one of the top five skills managers could improve, according to workers surveyed by SHRM.
Identify Common Goals and Interests
Once you’ve found a way through this particular conflict, take steps to continue building connection between the two employees. Return to the data by using a Comparison Report to find areas of similarity. By utilizing data instead of feelings, you can uncover shared objectives and highlight common goals. This can help reshape how they consider one another and remind them that they’re part of a team and should be working to help each other.
One thing to remember: don’t try to force bonding! The last thing your employees want is to have to force a connection with the person they were recently in conflict with. Employees don’t have to be friends; they have to be professional.
Make a Plan to Move Forward
Officially resolving the conflict is not the last step to help two employees get along. Use the new understanding gained to help them shape their working relationship. How can they avoid similar situations in the future? What will each employee do if this problem reoccurs? Does each person have what they need to move forward?
Ask and answer these questions as a group and then check in individually. Those check-ins don’t need to be formal; they can be as simple as a quick coffee and chat about how each person is doing and feeling after getting the issues resolved.
Continue to monitor the situation as needed, but take a hands-off approach if things are going well. Trusting your employees to handle themselves will help facilitate a better working environment overall.
If you want the right tools to improve conflict resolution within your team, we can help. Contact us here to get started.
